_behind the scenes_
zhi xu.
30/10/89
likes: purple!
gymnast(:
chinese dancer
_archives_
- July 2006
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- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
_frens_
8+1!! | abbY* | alison
whiny aster | belle* | chermaine
chianyeh | class | cheryl y | evelyn
jing xuan | mandre | su(mar)wan | nikki
ramona | pamela maria loo jing ling
rach wong | raisin | suelynn | wenhao
yamz! | yihui(: | yiwei
zhunian!
_wishlist_
black clubs! | tie dyed ribbon
new wallet | black hoop
sasaki ball!!
_tagboard_
Friday, November 30, 2007
My little sister's being totally irritating! The panolpy of newspapers came crashing down from the wind and I asked her to help repair it. And then, in covering up some holes she drags newspapers from other places. And the whole thing collaspes! UGHS.Class outing involevd cycling. Haha other than almost pushing Andrea off the path (OOPS) and crashing into Lewis (OOPSOOPS), and other screaming and errr minor collisions, I think I did fine. Hey, the path was so much more treacherous than the other route we took that time! All the uphill downhill and so much more twists and turns and a lot of canals which I was afraid I would careen (is this a correct spelling?) off into and all the bells ringing behind me trying to make me go faster (tsk!), I managed to cycle quite well. Hope my shi fu is proud of me :P
Haha cycling feels really great! Like moving quite fast and feeling the wind. Mmmm... Thankful that I know how to cycle now!
Haha I'm still rotting at home :S I need to go shop for prom heels! But when would I be free :S
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Thursday, November 29, 2007
OMG THE SMELLLLLLL... I'm going to die of the goodness knows what smell already. Haha. The worker came at 11+ when he was supposed to be here at 9!Ohhh so fast he just left :D Haha back in 2 hours. I've spent the whole day watching Bleach. Wheeee :)
I'm so cheery today I wonder why. Haha must be because I've submitted my proposal and have decided to only start work on Uni Apps tomorrow. Goodygoody. I just have to survive the smell right now :S
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BUT. How on earth do you sleep when there's 3 people snoring in the same room as you? [Haha my parents camped over in our room as well, wonder why they don't just sleep in the piano room :S] But yeah. It's super hard to sleep! So I'm still feeling super sleepy because I only got such little sleep yesterday night. Oh well.
BUT... Since I only got up so late in the day when I was determined to wake up early, I guess I'd better hurry off to double-check on my proposals before I have to submit. Yeps.
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Wednesday, November 28, 2007
The workers are supposed to come at 9am in the morning but they aren't here yet. The house is in a glorious mess! Newspapers all over the bookshelves. The beautifully kept bookshelves I cleared up yesterday. After the mess I've been piling up for the past few months.Anyway. My sister was exclaiming that I hadn't explored my phone yet. When I've had it for half a year already? But. Let me explain. I got it the week before CT2. (And I spent sometime playing with it already on the day after I got it and felt super guilty for that! Thinking back I hadn't even started studying Econs at that time. Bravo. And I wasn't that nervous last time. Why.)
Oh the workers just got here. An hour and eleven minutes late. Tsk.
Haha but there are perks. I have my laptop in my room now and I'm sitting in the wonderful comforts of a/c. And the printer's right beside me. No more lugging the laptop around just to print stuff. Yeps.
Less than a day and I'm starting to miss him :P
I should abstain from blogging. Start on proposals now.
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Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My mummy refused to listen to me when I said I could go get my sister's birthday present myself on Thursday.
So she got it early. Tsk.
Haha anyway, in the correct order.
Pudding [My elder sister's] Spongecake [Mine]
Mantou [My mum's] Queh queh [My younger sister's]
Haha this is quite amusing. :P Don't ask about the silly names. I've only named queh queh for my younger sister's as revenge for her insisting mine is called spongecake. Lol.
Off to nap.
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I'm going to fight it all the way mannn... Take it standing up ;)
I think I'm going to miss having someone who'd stay up till 3 just to accompany me :P But I can get use to this.
I think I need to go sleep. Waking up at 7am tomorrow to do more of this. I never knew there was so much work involved. And postponed it for a few days. Now I'm getting my retribution :(
Oh well. I have a rough draft. Bounce it off a few people tomorrow and then write the proposal. Hopefully it doesn't get killed just like the first idea I got hopeful over.
Ahhhh... Hopefully. It is good and doesn't get killed. I was going to say I can sleep easily now but I realise I can't not knowing!!! AHHHHHHHH...
There's a lot of exclamations in this post -.-
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Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sometimes, I wonder why I try so hard. When nothing matters. At all.c0mments
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Prom shopping was a floppp!!!! Ahhhhhh how to find something to wear in time!Ahhhhhh okies no point worrying nowwwwwww nothing I can do now.
Why am I blogging with so much exclamations lol. Okies I should go sleep soon.
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Friday, November 23, 2007
I think I slept a tad too late yesterday and now I have my fever back again. Must be the germs my sister has been polluting the room with. She's sick and now make me sick again :SEmo emo emo. I don't know really. I have to find the footing back I guess.
I think that right now I just want to slack and be able to forget about everything for just one little while. But I find that I can't! Perhaps I'm grown up or something. I feel the obligation in certain things and also I don't know. Things don't seem that simple anymore. One thing comes with another sacrifice and when I don't get my way I feel. Put off?
Not exactly what I'm trying to say but.
I just started on my new notebook. I suddenly needed a notebook to deal with the stress by writing down all the things I needed to do. And soon. And there's a rather long list. Hmm... And these are things I cannot screw up as well.
Sometime during A's, I grew up. I'm eighteen now and there are different things I'm facing. I don't know. Just. Don't feel up to many things.
Was talking to a friends just now who was trying to convince me that I had it in me. Hmm... Is that true? Even if it is, how far can it bring me?
Don't know. I really want the magic back :'( I'm feeling rather lost.
Oh well. Why am I emo-ing after A's I don't know. Just don't read if you are bored :S
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I've lost the drive and motivation I used to have. Find it back find it back.
Why is it that when I haven't yet relaxed for a week, I'm back to having to face with this thing called REALITY?
Seriously. Like 3 days after prelims, the results came back and it was time to settle down doing uni apps and studying for SATs and stuff. And now. 4 days after Phys, I receive and email telling me of proposals I need to make.
When I have already lost what confidence I had in myself.
Wonderful.
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Hmmm... I'd better go sleep I have to get up early tomorrow for a _dreaded_ ok not so dreaded breakfast. How early is that. 9 am at holland v. 8.30 at orchard to meet mo.
Hmmm... Aiyah I'd go sleep after chasing someone else off to sleep. Yeps. Much to think about maybe just not right now lah. I need my sleep even though I woke up at 11+ today. Again.
Maybe it's the post A's setting in. And knowing that it's the world you face right now. Not school anymore. Oh well. I don't know what to say really. Hmmm...
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Thursday, November 22, 2007
I went to collect my new passport today! Haha the biometric sort. How cool :PHaha anyway my entire right arm is aching today. Haha the result of using too much strength in my panic I suppose. Grip the handlebars too hard. And speaking of that. I have two weird patches on my palm too. Eeee SOOOOO NOOB :S
Haha off to watch more VCDs :P I've been slacking for a long long while! I suppose it's time to start my uni apps. Errrr... After I finish this and my two books. Lol.
And play somemore lah hehehe.
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Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Dear Friends,Zhi Xu knows how to cycle now! Next time can ask me go cycling liaos ;) Hopefully I don't forget what I just learnt.
Ohhh and while I've learnt how to cycle junx still doesn't know how to swims. Lol :P You cannot laugh at me nowwwwww...
Yeps must thank my shi fu who had to run to catch up with me so poor thing.
Okies other than that today I watched Freedom Writers too. Wahhhh such a cathartic movie. Haha 200 Pounds Beauty at night also. Next on is The Pursuit of Happiness. Along with the two books still wrapped up in their plastic jackets waiting for me. Yeps.
How am I going to squeeze in time Prom-Shopping and packing my table and going back to school to collect random stuff?? AHHHHH...
Not to forget uni-apps arh... Eeks.
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Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Today was...End of A's (With a moderately easy physics paper 1)
Trying to sit at Mac's and not finding seats
Renting DVDs (I want to watch the other movie we didn't manage to watch today :'( )
Mac's lunch (SUCH FATTY FOOD)
Commotion (Is this how you spell it?)
Getting scolded by an auntee
Moving off to sk's house (with a stop of interrogation at Cold Storage)
WII :D (Omgosh it's really fun!)
Cha2 Wu3 (Which wasn't as good as I expected)
More WII (Getting boo-ed off the stage LOL)
Pool (and losing 0-3 :'( )
Getting locked out of the door (Thanks SK's mum!)
Dinner at Fish and Co. (I'm still feeling full :P)
Walk around Borders (And being followed by people thankfully since we are noobs we noticed them when we had to double back :P)
Home.
Errr getting spammed now.
I'm tired I need to sleeppp... (Or go offline to read my book :) )
Haha but I'm really rather happy today :D
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Sunday, November 18, 2007
Was browsing through all the photos I have stored in the comp yesterday night for someone. Haha. And I found some photos which made me go awwwwww.... Haha certain important moments this year MUST be chronicled. I highlight only 3 (got more important moments that I'll one day maybe share). Haha so here, SYF, Dance Night and Gym Comp.
Witness the stupid things I do for Pam's camera. She's going to kill me for putting this up. But I'm safe for a while as Pamela Maria Loo Jing Ling still has 2 Bio papers to put up with. Haha. Anyway. She's been a wonderful friend, a wonderful baker, haha and a wonderful bus mate :)
Dance Night. Hm... Haha can you see the tears in Esther's and my eyes? Lol. Pamela Maria Loo Jing Ling caught me mid-wail. Too unglam to put that here. Or on the internet anywhere for that matter. Anyway. Dance Night marked our last tribute to Wei Wei Lao Shi as well. I'm super glad we could make her so proud of us. Last time when I chatted with her online she was thanking us for fulfilling her dream as well. Yeps. I want to start dance!!!!! WAILSSSSSS :'( Who wants to go with meeeeeeeee :'( :'( :'(
Witness the stupid things I do for Pam's camera. She's going to kill me for putting this up. But I'm safe for a while as Pamela Maria Loo Jing Ling still has 2 Bio papers to put up with. Haha. Anyway. She's been a wonderful friend, a wonderful baker, haha and a wonderful bus mate :)
Dance Night. Hm... Haha can you see the tears in Esther's and my eyes? Lol. Pamela Maria Loo Jing Ling caught me mid-wail. Too unglam to put that here. Or on the internet anywhere for that matter. Anyway. Dance Night marked our last tribute to Wei Wei Lao Shi as well. I'm super glad we could make her so proud of us. Last time when I chatted with her online she was thanking us for fulfilling her dream as well. Yeps. I want to start dance!!!!! WAILSSSSSS :'( Who wants to go with meeeeeeeee :'( :'( :'(
Haha then Gym Comp. As acting coach this time. Haha a lot of pain and heartbreak went into the decision, of not competing I mean. And a lot of pain and heartbreak even after that when everyone went off on holiday and I didn't see people being as worked up as me over being prepared for comp. And not feeling appreciation. Haha I think I'm selfish in that sense. And I still think it's not fair that the teachers think I haven't done much. Maybe I really haven't. I'm not the one to argue. And I don't think I've complained to many about that irritating woman who doesn't deserve to be an officer at all. Speaking and shouting at me like I'm worth nothing just because I'm a student not a coach. But the journey was worth every step of the way. Every struggle I faced as well. Witness the dance gathering we had during gym comp. And the coolies. (Haha sorry for cutting people's faces halfway through anyway) But it sure was fun despite the super huge amount of dread I felt before going for gym comp on that Friday. Because that could be the last time I step into the arena for comp. And as a person not competing. Yeps. Thanks to the people who made it worth it all.
A's are ending. As in the real ending and not the pseudo one I proclaimed previously. A new chapter of my life is about to begin. How appropriate that the pretty purple notebook Melissa gave me at the start of this year (2nd Jan, very first day of school!) for last year's birthday just ran out of its last page. A new notebook to start my new journey I suppose.
There are many changes ahead of me. Feeling more responsibilities piling up already. Work to be found for next year. Internships. Scholarships. I don't know. Feeling irked still about UK uni apps. UGHS.
Anyway. Haha. I don't know what to put here. I shall not blog tomorrow and concentrate on studying for phys. Although there really isn't much left to do. Aiyah see how lah. All the best for the rest of A's people! We will be free soon!!
And yes, for those who end super late, we still root behind you :) (this is like meant for my gor gor to make up for the too much teasing I do to him, not that he doesn't tease me huh :S). It's just, he ends so much later than us! MUAHAHAA. I had to get the last word in you see :P
Okies I just gave up on writing my essay I suppose sleep early :)
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Saturday, November 17, 2007
This needs some getting used to but I need to be strong. Yeps :)c0mments
There's this horrible feeling of unease I can't get rid of :( And I don't know what to do about it as well. A's are over. Well at least I'm not studying for Phys MCQs. Errr, yet. So I've got basically nothing to do. Because I don't feel like starting Uni Apps yet. Or start looking for a job.
Oh well.
The economist is not catching my interest. Not that it isn't interesting. I just cannot settle down. Where is this unease coming from :'(
A's has been a tremoudous roller coaster ride for me. The emotional upheavals. The despair. I have never felt so stupid before in my entire life you know. There was always this confidence. And finding out that your teacher failed you (yet again) midway through preparing for H3 doesn't help. I think A's made me feel stupid all over again because I don't know. I'm not used to being unable to get things the way I want. Complacency? Maybe. Or just. Over-confidence. I believe that I can do things too much. And I believe I can take on as many things as I want and do well in all of them too much as well.
What happened to the strong girl out there who is ready for the world ahead of her? Hm... I think hiding and waiting. I think still there. I'm going to find her again.
I wish I could have the never dying self confidence I used to have. Ok not that it was never dying.
I miss dance so much. I feel powerful when I'm dancing. So in control, so confident (on the outside at least), so magical :(
I don't know what to think... Oh well...
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CHECK THIS OUT!!!
Haha I think I started my collection during preparation for CT2 during June Break.
Yeps. Do I hear people asking me to buy refills? I think I should too but I can't seem to find them.
Anyway. I slept late last night in anticipation for sleeping in early today. BUT. Construction work woke me up. 5 DAY WORK WEEK. For goodness sake. At 8.30am in the morning! :'(
Haha but it was still a nice sleep. Haven't woken up at 8.30 for AGES. Been regulating myself and making myself wake up at 7am. ZZZZZZZ... I bet there's where all the pimples and dark eyebags came from! (Oh when I go to school I think I wake up even EARLIER :S)
A's is ending :D Great stuff ahead! Wheeeeeeeee :D:D:D
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Thursday, November 15, 2007
Haha I have PLANS ahead of me.Fat cutting and errrr shopping plans to be exact.
Anyway. Got over something supposedly terrifying today to find it not so terrifying. Haha. Hope all goes well.
Tonight must sleep properly! Goodness knows why I couldn't sleep last night. SO TORTUROUS. Probably too xin fen that A's are ending.
I watched a few hours of TV and read 2 books today. Hope chem goes well tmr.
Other than that. Oh I was supposed to sleep early so that I wouldn't fall asleep during chem MCQs like I did today. Ok sleep sleep right
NOW.
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Wednesday, November 14, 2007
A's are OVER.Well... Sort of.
Now. To stuff like uni apps which I will start soon. And internships. Yeps.
In the meanwhile. WHAT DO PEOPLE WEAR THE PROM!!!! SAVE ME....
Haha junx: why are you so sha? :P
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Monday, November 12, 2007
What am I doing online the night before the worst day in the entire A levels I don't know.Ok I'm printing stuff.
I've been feeling horrible these few days. Like I've lost the magical touch which usually allows me to understand every question, go into the exam hall with full confidence and write without worrying about anything anything at all.
What happened I want it back :'(
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Wednesday, November 07, 2007
I'm fighting myself and I know it. And I'm going to win. I shouldn't be feeling this way and so I won't. Yeps.-
Some people are so irresponsible its scary. To have a person in a position of trust being irresponsible is worse. Please don't screw up my future for goodness sake.
-
Went to school to study today. Horrible. Very hot at first. But under the fan too cold after a while. Then go out of classroom very windy. Later aircon on and I didn't bring my jacket (it was wayyy too hot when I left the house). ARGHS.
-
I think I'm getting fever. Well done.
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Tuesday, November 06, 2007
I think I 'pwn'ed (borrowing from Philip) math. Haha. Maybe it's a full-marks-able paper huh ;) Came out to check P&C and Probablity answer with Zhu Hui. Think all correct. Haha those are the hardest and weirdest to double check answer. Imagine listing out 479001600 arrangements. Have fun man... 3 hours over liaos haven't listed half yet. Haha, the rest can plot in GC and check. Like use cumsum. Quite sha -.- The pure maths was tedious though. So sha.With this confident mood, I'm going to crush H3.
Haha, if only H3 were as easy peasy :(
I can count! I'm going to read my counting book nowwwww...
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Saturday, November 03, 2007
Is it disappointment? Or resignation... Fear as well perhaps.c0mments
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Friday, November 02, 2007
My Upenn Huntsman Programme just flewwwww away because I didn't take SAT II for Chinese. Ughs. I thought it was very n00b for Singaporeans to take Chinese! But then it's a must for them I can't argue with them oh well. Haha maybe it's trying to tell me that I shouldn't waste the effort I put into the essay I've already completed for applying to Econs. Haha.Haha I wish I wish I wish I'm still hoping and hoping and hoping. Haha. (You can ask me if you know me personally.)
Maths today was rather easy. Ok not as easy as the RJC paper in some sense but a lot easier. Meaning like VERY VERY EASY then a few tougher ones. Or maybe I'm blur I took quite long to solve the last few. Haha. Like differentiating dy/dt wrongly (that's the very first step in a 6 marks long solution btw) and then writing pages and not being able to solve! Faints. Then when I finally gave up trying to spot mistake and starting afresh on a new piece of paper I started writing. 5 seconds later. OMG what did I waste so much time on! Haha but the paper was an easy one lah.
Wouldn't it be very scary if the cut off point for A is 90 marks? Ahhhhhh shudders. I don't like it when the A and B cut offs are horrendously close like haiyah I don't know :(:(
But. Hmm... Ok so for Math there isn't a lot of ways for them to ask questions. Perhaps stats will have a lot more ways to trick you and make you trip and fall. All the probability and P&C questions. But physics... The paper 3 was. Weird. Cannot even say difficult. Simply weird! 3 marks for finding E=V/d? Then 6 marks for describing photoelectric emission? It's like. I don't have enough to write for 6 marks...
Somehow I don't feel as if our teachers have prepared us well for the papers. Like making us do questions which are like what A Levels would give. WEIRD WEIRD questions. Apparently some schools found it easy. Oh well. I don't know what to say. Feel so insecure about that physics A right now.
And the problematic thing is that the two shakiest subjects, Econs and H3 are not well prepared. What am I doing online right now I don't know :( I don't even know how to prepare for that! And like getting results worse than prelims for A's is sooooo not acceptable. SO HOW!
I wish they could give papers which are super tough. Meaning logically tough and challenging to do. As long as they ask the questions in a simple, understandable way. What a way to ace the papers. :( I'd rather they ask me something I must think about throughout the paper than have something that no matter what I think I'm not even sure what they are asking for :(
I'm whining. No one to talk to. What to dooooooo...
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