wind to thy wings~

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Splitting headache want to grab my head and squeeze my eyes shut tight hoping for some peace. Then an avalanche of conversation of goodness sake I don't want to hear all those keep quiet go do something about it instead of constantly reassuring me that you will go do something about it. Action speaks louder than words go do something you said you will do instead of merely reiterating give you time you will change things. For goodness sake make the change right now.

You said you didn't want to affect my future you didn't want to spoilt my dream do you know how badly you are affecting me here and now and how much weight my performance _now_ will affect my future? Of course it didn't occur to you nothing ever does does it?

And I'm the most free to listen to you right now I'm just sitting here reading reading nonsense of course I'm free and I'm listening and I'm not there watching TV or playing games or trying to get a LIFE. I'm free and I'm just here reading wasting my time wasting my life reading. Of course. I'm free to listen to you. Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.

Up to your whims and fancies you know.

Drowning my sorrow tears chokes and sobs under the shower screaming to myself stop crying stop crying so that I can walk out and present a perfect countenance nothing happened nothing happened just showered a little longer than usual turning my skin to pulp trying to dry my eyes and wipe away tears. Tears? No those weren't tears, just water droplets from the burning shower condensing on my skin. Nothing nothing happened.

Of course I am selfish unkind inconsiderate the worst everything can ever be ever occurred to you how I am the only one who hasn't yet declared open war who hasn't yet shouted at you who hasn't yet shown any any hint of resentment. And I'm the only who's giving words of encouragement smiles listening to you advicing you and what do I get. Nothing.

Of course. I didn't expect anything. Perhaps some silence I could cherish alone so peace some quiet.

Oh go away.

Dammit.




wishing wind to thy wings at 7:38 PM
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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

I said I will blog the 400th post on my birthday. So here I am. Even though there are still quite a number of things I want to read by tomorrow.


A's are so scary. I have never been so unprepared for exams before. And that the only time I am so unprepared is for the largest exam thus far in my life is. UGHS.


Physics today was horrible. Weird weird questions. I would have been perfectly comfortable tackling supposedly 'tougher' questions if they were asked reasonable! But things like E = V/d warranting 3 marks and having not enough points to fill up 6 marks on photoelectric emission is UGHS. Irritating.


On the other hand, today is my birthday. Haha, thanks to the loads who remembered even though its during A's (or rather the day A's start for most people). Haha, special thanks to those who actually took time off to prepare presents somemore (a few days oh mannn...)!! Haha but thanks to everyone lah.


Hehs, I actually managed to keep smiling for a while today. Not bad.


Okies. Back to more mugging. My GP is really. ARGHS!



wishing wind to thy wings at 10:33 PM
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Monday, October 29, 2007

What am I doing online. Oh well.


22 days left to freedom.


Just under 2 hours left as well :)


Go everyone!


[Remember what Mr Hodge said? Reply, "I'M GOING!"]



wishing wind to thy wings at 10:07 PM
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Sunday, October 28, 2007

Excerpt from The Economist
October 27th 2007
Letters

Freedom through trade
SIR - If the majority of Burmese truly supported democracy, Myanmar would become a democratic state ("A chink in the armour", October 13th). No foreign country is imposing an authoritarian government on Myanmar. The military junta is able to stay in power because a significant percentage of the Burmese actually support the thugs. For that same reason authoritarian governments continue to rule China and Vietnam. Yet both of those countries also enjoy the invigorating effect of free trade with the West. Such trade has improved the economic lot of millions of Chinese and Vietnamese and, more importantly, has opened their societies to Western values. Both are far freer than when the West isolated them.
Sadly, the lessons of fere trade have been lost on overzealous but sincere idealists like Aung San Suu Kyi. Heeding their misguided call, the West has strangled Myanmar with an economic embargo, the only accomplishment of which has been to impoverish the Burmese economically and intellectually.

Dwight Sunada
Stanford, California.

Exactly what I was saying that day. Remember the econs discussion we had in study group? I ended up talking to (someone can't remember who) about why I think the root cause of the continued persistence of the military junta lies in the lack of resistance by the Burmese themselves.

True enough, the monks' resistance has led to many (the actual number is unknown) being beaten up, killed and hauled off without people knowing where they now are. However, could the military actually be able to hold its front if the _majority_ of the people were against them? Yes, I admit that there would be countless slaughters and perhaps unneccessary bloodshed if students, teachers and ordinary workmen took to the streets as well. The army is strong, yes, but what makes up the army? People. People who are obedient either because they are fearful, ignorant or because they believe.

Perhaps some wouldn't know the alternatives either. What is available to them. What can be better. And that the world around Myanmar is actually rooting for a democracy. True enough, most do not believe that the junta will dissolve quickly and quietly, a much proposed suggestion would be for a military and civilian co-operation. But back to the point, if this lack of support for democracy and having the majority of people willing (enough) to submit to the junta is the main reason for its continue existence, shouldn't we solve the problem by tackling its roots?

Mr Sunada is right, in saying that by opening up barriers to trade currently placed on Myanmar, there will be a greater chance of toppling the junta and liberating the Burmese. Firstly, trade sanctions do not directly harm the military institution in Myanmar. As he argued, by opening up to trade, people in China and Vietnam have benefited as a result. Placing trade embargoes on Myanmar hurt the poor because of the lack of opportunity for growth. Is it right then to punish the people for putting the wrong people in power (haha, they didn't even place the junta in power in the very first place.)?

Also, trade and globalisation have a potent effects in many ways. Globalisation, leading to increased trade also facilitate better technological transfer and communication networks. The flow of information and ideas could lead to more people knowing of better alternatives to the life they have, and more people knowing of the support given to them by foreign administrations. I personally believe that the increased openness will instigate change in a way better than any trade embargo can. Consider this, by placing such restrictions, won't the junta have a greater reason to hold on to power, because the 'outside world' is not supportive of its citizens?

I shall not here go into details of why embargoes will fail as well. Without co-operation and multilateral embargoes, the economic impact on Myanmar would not be severe. But the main conclusion here is that [wahhh makes me think of TSA :S], since restricting trade does not bring about tangible benefits, and promoting trade is a win-win situation, why not continue with 'trade-as-usual'? ASEAN has been criticised for doing nothing about their "problematic neighbour". I believe however that they have done the right thing. By maintaing normal relations with Myanmar, it would be easier to negotiate with the military junta. By continuing trade, we can ensure that the Burmese do not suffer unnecessarily. By promoting trade, we could in fact catalyse greater change in the political institutions of Burma.

[I tried writing an AQ on this but I failed. Horribly. Oh dear I'm like out of touch with writing AQs :S:S]

Disclaimer: Haha everytime I write something possibly sensitive I have the urge to put this, the whole issue about interact activists and stuff. I did not and do not have any meanings in the article other than in voicing my thought. I don't exactly know the situation well enough to comment I suppose. This is what I think based on my limited literature on the subject. Hehe. Forgive me for any factual mistakes I may have made! Or conceptual errors in my argument. Perhaps there are better arguments that I should hear of? Haha oh wait but who was I afraid would read this? Study hard everyone!




wishing wind to thy wings at 6:50 PM
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There is something that I really really want but which I think I will not get. How shall I put it. Haha, I shouldn't put it in the first place anyway. Ahhh... Okokok. Stop wishing.


Go back down to earth man.



wishing wind to thy wings at 3:57 PM
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A's is starting in two days. Tomorrow is the last day before it. Why am I still so unprepared. And preoccupied by other things?


It's a bad time to be considering your future now. I need to get my priorities right. Yet, I somehow don't think my priorities point towards aceing the A's. Hah! How about that.


I need to do well. But I'm not doing my part to doing well.


Aiyah. I have a problem with myself.



wishing wind to thy wings at 2:08 PM
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Saturday, October 27, 2007

Every time I get past a hurdle I get this tendency to slack. Oh well oh well. Watched TV for the past 2.5 hours. Well well, Zhi Xu watching TV!! Haha are you guys out there proud of me.


I don't feel like studying why why why am I slacking before the big A's :S:S:S


Was in a totally horrible mood since last night. Hehe. Oops. Ending up not sleeping well. Just before leaving the house today for TSA, I stared in the mirror and gave myself a shock. HORRIBLE GREAT BIG FAT EYE BAGS. Horror. Haha guess how infrequently I look into the mirror. I bet I've look devastated for ages but haven't looked in the mirror! Blame early in the morning wear contacts that time eyes haven't really opened yet. Hehe. Note to self: To avoid frightening myself, I shouldn't wear contacts only in the afternoon. Lol.


Bloo bloo bloo [next time don't do that kaes!]



wishing wind to thy wings at 9:07 PM
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Haha, a bit disappointed. Oh well.



wishing wind to thy wings at 12:45 AM
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Friday, October 26, 2007

Thankfully I went to check SAT today. Because other than scores which I checked yesterday, I went to click on this box called DEADLINES. And then, I saw it because I was first tickled by it's announcement:


10/30: Happy Birthday, Zhi Xu!


Haha then I went to click and expand the box. And found out that Boston U's deadline is 15th December. Not 1st January. WELL DONE.


Haha anyway thankfully thankfully I found out. Now to print out the whole list and highlight what is relevant to me. UGHS.


So much applications undone. And Cambridge stuff coming out. Go me.


Go everyone! I know everyone's studying hard now and probably won't read this but if you see this it's time to head for the books again. Or go sleep, depending on what you need.


I keep getting very very jing zhang over the fact that I'm reading more books than studying and more than half my day is spent re-reading books when I should be studying but HOWHOWHOWHOWHOWHOW.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


[edit 11.38am: OHH this is stupid. And then I realise only now again that I looked at the wrong date just now. Ahhhh what am I doing! :@]



wishing wind to thy wings at 11:24 AM
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Thursday, October 25, 2007

Quantum cryptography

Heisenberg's certainty principle

Oct 18th 2007
From The Economist

The Swiss are using quantum theory to make their election more secure

HANGING chads. Ballot stuffing. Gerrymandering. Such dirty tricks enfeeble democracy. But the security of the votes cast in Geneva during Switzerland's general election on October 21st is guaranteed. The authorities will use quantum cryptography—a way to transmit information that detects eavesdroppers and errors almost immediately—to ensure not only that votes are kept secret but also that they are all counted.

In quantum cryptography, as in most long-distance data transmission, the information is carried by photons, the particles which compose light and other sorts of electromagnetic radiation. These particular photons, however, are manipulated in a special way. The simplest example is when the sender (whom cryptographers usually call Alice) dispatches a stream of them to the receiver (who is known as Bob). These photons will have one of two modes. In the first, a photon is polarised either vertically or horizontally. In the second, it is polarised diagonally—plus or minus 45°. In the first mode, a photon polarised vertically represents a “0” and one polarised horizontally represents a “1”. Similarly, in the second mode polarisation at +45° represents “0” and at -45°, “1”.

Bob's receiver can be set to only one mode at a time, so if Alice sends him a vertically polarised photon and his equipment is in the first mode, then he will record a “0”. If his equipment is in the second mode, he will have an equal chance of recording a “0” or a “1”. After a short time, Alice tells Bob that the photon she sent should have been measured in mode one; she does not tell him what value it should have been. Bob now knows whether he made a correct measurement. If he did, he keeps the result and tells Alice that they have a match. If not, he junks it and tells Alice to do likewise—a process that takes a few millionths of a second.

It is at this point that Eve may show up. Eve is the name that cryptographers give to an eavesdropper. Should Eve intercept the transmission, the laws of quantum mechanics mean that she cannot read it without altering the photon in some way. By recording each photon, she actually destroys what she is measuring. She must therefore generate some new photons and send these to Bob, in the hope that he doesn't twig what is going on. But her equipment, too, must be set to one mode or the other, and she cannot be certain that the polarity of the photon she sends to Bob is correct.

This means that if Eve is involved, when Alice and Bob come to compare their data there will be many more mistakes than would otherwise be expected. Eve's presence will thus quickly be revealed and appropriate countermeasures can be taken. And the system works not only when there is an intelligent eavesdropper on the line, but also when data become corrupted accidentally.

For a truly secure system, the message will be encrypted in a way that requires a mathematical key to unlock it. In fact, both key and message can be transmitted this way: if the key is sent first, any interception will be detected and the key discarded. Only when the key has been safely transmitted need the message itself be sent.

This being Switzerland, it is unlikely that anyone will try a bit of electronic ballot-stuffing in this particular election, so it is the anti-accidental-corruption feature that is of most interest to Geneva's returning officers. And in truth, this is as much a piece of advertising as a real application. The firm behind the efforts, ID Quantique, is Swiss. The other two companies developing quantum cryptography for commercial use, MagiQ and BBN Technologies, are American. Employing quantum cryptography to transmit the vote from polling stations to central counting house is thus a bit of a publicity stunt.

Still, this will be the first time the technology has been deployed for real, so whether the system succeeds or fails will be of great importance to ID Quantique. Like the other two firms, it has its eyes on banks, insurance companies and other businesses that have to move a lot of sensitive data around. Whether the government of Florida will be interested is a different question.

--

I haven't done a single piece of work today. So stressed so stressed.



wishing wind to thy wings at 6:48 PM
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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Summary


We had a mini-economics discussion within the study group today on the Theory of Impossible Trinity. Although I wrote in my MAS essay for Prelims that the trinity states the impossibiliy of having simultaneously free capital movement, a fixed exchange rate and fixed interest rates, a more accurate way to put it would actually entail a country having simultaneously
1) a fixed exchange rate,
2) free capital movement and
3) an independent monetary policy.


Independent monetary policy meaning the ability to control manipulate interest rates and money supply, something I didn't think of at the start.


Haha for the sake of poor me and my slow thoughts, some elaboration here.


When a country fixes its exchange rate and allows free capital movement, hot money inflow and outflow would be dictated by how attractive it is to place the money in the country. Let's take Singapore for an example, should we try to raise our interest rates, hot money would flow in. Supply of loanable funds increases and hence interest rates fall. Let's say we try our best to fix interest rates at the high level we want (it could be to curb overheating and the like), since we have free capital movement, the continual increase in demand for Sing dollars in the forex market would price (think exchange rate) for Sing dollars. Of course this is not so clearly defined in the real world. Singapore's exchange rate is no clearly fixed but instead fluctuates within a policy band.


Then, when a country fixes its exchange rate and interest rates, for example China, it is incapable of achieving free capital movement. China's gradual rise in interest rates (as a side, China is interesting as it raises interest rates by a step of 0.27 percentage points instead of the usual 0.25) would attract hot money. Should interest rates remain high, as mentioned above, there would be upward pressure on China's exchange rate (think the big hu-ha about it being undervalued right now). Hence, China has to place restrictions on capital movement.


Then when a country fixes it's interest rate and allows for free capital movement, as mentioned above again, exchange rate would neccessarily be up to the whims and fancies of the investing public.


Thus the theory of the impossible trinity states that countries can only control two out of the three at one time. Not that difficult to understand isn't it? I wonder what the discussion was about right from the start. Haha, they were hard at work before I even went there. Hmmm...


Anyway, Junxin said something quite insightful today. The smarter you are and the more you read, the less you get to think for yourself. Reminds me of what whao blogged about waayyy back when he mentioned that sometimes our notes are too good, and this discourages us from making notes ourselves. So, it's actually not so much how smart you are that makes you unable to think. But the amount you read and the diversity of the viewpoints you know about. Given the amount that we know already, upon meeting any circumstances we are often then able to apply what Mr Economist 1 said, or Mr Politician 2 advocated. This would then erode our own mental capacity. Interesting interesting.



wishing wind to thy wings at 9:42 PM
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Random Thoughts.


Communism has long been a state sought after by many around the world. Today, one can still see many countries laying claims to communist roots. While Cuba has started moving towards a form of democracy, other states like China and Russia are still predominantly communist (note the paradox here -- communist state). Yet, there is a hitch in the argument here. The communist state as Karl Marx proposes is unable to swiftly form upon the collaspe of capitalism. Though Marx suggested that capitalism was self-implosive (due to workers' resentment, improvement of technology and issues like increasing monopoly power) he did not suggest an immediate shift towards communism. Instead, he proposed a gradual shift towards socialism, where the dictatorship of the proletariat controls the society's means of production.


One questions: what exactly does dictatorship of the proletariat mean? Does it mean that the proletariat actually controls society? Isn't it again paradoxical that the proletariat should be a dictatorship? In framing the perspective for tackling such a dilemma, we first look at what exactly the proletariat refers to. In Marxism, the proletariat commonly refers to the working class. Yet in considering an entire class as a dictatorship, futher conflict arises. A dictatorship involves the governance of the people by leadership which does not have to answer to any higher authorities. Hence, governance by people without the consent of those being governed would constitute dictatorship. [Please thank Wikipedia for the definitions, I wonder how trustworthy they are].


So, here then lies the crux of the question. Who the dictatorship of the proletariat is answerable to. Is the proletariat answerable to others in the proletariat? Then when this working class governs others in the working class, who exactly is answerable to who? And who actually holds the reins of governance? How does a 'prole' (quoting Orwell, "1984"), when answerable to another, act as a dictator?


When one speaks of the working class holding control of the means of production, one envisions the multitude of policies that have been put in place in communist states worldwide. Taxing the rich perhaps, confiscation of property and high corporate taxes are perhaps only a mere few examples. All these could be viewed as a form in which the poor (here I am referring to the working class, whyfor would a working class require an uprising if they were not relatively poor?) then takes revenge on the rich. Consider the case in which the dictatorship becomes scrutinised. Or the watchdog fouls on its duty; the guardian fails to guard. Wouldn't it signify that the working class has now become the top rung in society? The working class now holds control, holds the reins?


Then again, how, by definition, is a working class capable of becoming the ruling class? Societal shifts have seen ruling families collaspe into normal folks, perhaps even prisoners of war when they are overtaken by others. Then, invaders could take the place of the throne and the cycle could possibly repeat again, perhaps some time later in the future. Here, I would like to highlight an important point. The working class now becomes the ruling class. And with roles reversed, the ruling class now works. Socialism, then would entail dictatorship by the working class. Who is going to rule who in the long run?


[Haha you are very much welcomed to write comments. Could spur some ideas and thoughts! I got myself rather confused halfway through writing that. Please correct me if anything is wrong :)]



wishing wind to thy wings at 12:33 AM
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Sunday, October 21, 2007

I am going to start reading The Straits Time before everyone begins to criticise me for reading only The Economist.


Random Comment: omggg!! i would die before i actually have to admit something which degrades my mental capacity as much as that! haha and to prevent from sound super snobbish i shall not comment what i am talking about! butttt... please follow this golden rule. if cannot, dun try to show. and to think he spoke of it with such CONVICTION! faints.



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:59 PM
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Tell me I shouldn't become depressed over something as STUPID as two economics case studies. Really. My econs sucks. What to do.


Studying at home is really UGHS. And I was supposed to move my production chains back home. How.


I said I wouldn't blog. Oh well.


Haha. Today is supposed to be a cheerful dayyy. Cheer up Zhi Xu!



wishing wind to thy wings at 6:19 PM
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Saturday, October 20, 2007

Sheesh. So what if I said I wasn't going to blog anymore. I'm so stressed I'm like hyperventilating and I'm not sure what to do.


I tell myself I need to cut this crap out. Now.



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:45 PM
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Friday, October 19, 2007

A's are coming coming coming. I have yet to prioritise what I need to do over this entire course of time and important period in my life. But it's time to settle down, focus, and mug hard anyway. :S


Meanwhile, I should come online less often. Or at least blog less often [I do need to come online to get fed information by my 'kor kor' LOL]...


Also, must thank all those wonderful people who cheer me up and keep my going when I'm depressed! Shall not name names here but thanks to all those wonderful souls out there!


All of a sudden I have a brother and brother-in-laws! That's quite amusing and crappy but lol funny lah. Haha, and I'm starting to lose my 'cool' in class! Like... Very restless need to prance about and dance and stretch and kick but I can't do all that in school! :(:( Eeksss...


Meanwhile people, please please don't forget my birthday! Haha ;)



wishing wind to thy wings at 10:20 PM
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Wednesday, October 17, 2007

When I should be studying hard and doing work, I come online.


What's wrong with me seriously.


Mood swings mood swings go away go away.


I said I will cheer up :)


Okok go go everyone.


Has it dawned upon you yet how near A's are? Frightens me. Oh well.


To choose plane geometry or combinatorics. I really don't know :S



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:01 PM
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Tuesday, October 16, 2007

I'm stressed. But who's going to listen to me whine all day?



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:56 PM
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Monday, October 15, 2007

Haha I'm wondering what would it be like if I could actually tell me parents all my worries and all they should know about me.


Rather different wouldn't it be?


I realise I blog frequently when I have weird random thoughts and don't know who or how to spill them out. Oh well.



wishing wind to thy wings at 9:03 PM
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I can't stand how some people can take me for granted. I must not get down because of them. Seriously.


I don't know. What's wrong with me :S



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:23 PM
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Sunday, October 14, 2007

Time After Time
By Cyndi Lauper


Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick and think of you
Caught up in circles confusion is nothing new
You say go slow; I fall behind
The second hand unwinds


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting
Time after time


Time after time
Time after time


Sometimes you picture me I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me I can't hear just what you've said
You say go slow; I fall behind
The second hand unwinds


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you; I'll be waiting
Time after time


After my picture fades and darkness has turned to grey
Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm ok
You say go slow; I fall behind
The drum beats out of time


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
Time after time


If you're lost you can look and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting
(I will be waiting)
Time after time


Time after time
Time after time


-


Two of our teachers sang that for us during Farewell on Friday. Hmmm. That day certainly made me think about a lot of things. But too distraught that night. Haha. Hmmm... Maybe I will blog about about it next time. Or let things stew more.



wishing wind to thy wings at 11:48 PM
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This thingy.
Called fear.
Bugs me.
All day.
And night.


I'm going mad I'm adding steam but I'm out of coal and the train just goes chagachagachaga relentlessly -- without direction without knowing what's ahead what it might crash into when the tracks end. And then I see other trains with brightly polished windows shining and gleaming perfect in the sunlight. Knowing their direction. With a motive in mind. Aiming and continuing taking over surpassing me even when I'm doing what all my pathetic self can do just to keep up.


What's happening.



wishing wind to thy wings at 11:35 PM
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My class is displaying its true colours as the top science economics class (I'm not really sure whether it's just for science classes or for all) on the class groups. Faints. Anyway really shocked how we managed to topped. Always thought we were a sciencey class. Yeps, then fan3 er2 did well in GP and Econs this time while deproving for Phys and Chem (I'm not sure for Math?).


A lot of reflections and thoughts recently. Haha, ironic isn't it? When I should be studying harder than usual and not thinking random thoughts. Yikes. But then again. Uni Apps made a think a lot. Talking to my friends make a think a lot. Things that happened make me think a lot as well. Think think think. I can't imagine what the quality of my studying had been over the last week. Ughs.


Ahhhhh ok I don't know what else to say like stuck for words oh well oh well.



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:32 PM
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Friday, October 12, 2007

I have a bad feeling.

-

I don't know what to say.

-

I still want things to be just as they were.



wishing wind to thy wings at 10:41 PM
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Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I'm scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared im scared ims cared im scared im scared im scared im scared


No I did not use copy and paste.



wishing wind to thy wings at 9:05 PM
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Studied H3 today because I was very jing zhang about H3. Like worse done subject. Yeps. So did the NJC CT2 paper which was a bit of a morale booster. A bit lah. Got stuck at the very last part though need to find someone to explain how to do it to me :S But compared to our H3 paper... Flip from page to page wondering which question could probably gain me maybe one more mark?


Ahhhh. Anyway physics mock paper 3 was quite tough that day. Like flip from page to page wondering what I could do more of as well. But at least there was ample time. I mean it when I say ample. I finished the entire paper. All 3 questions from section B. And had more than half an hour left? Faints. Must be the effect of moving on moving on when I don't know how to do the question? Thankfully, I don't think I did TOO badly for it. Much worse than our own RJC paper though :S Because I managed to fill in most of the blanks with crap before time ended.


RJC sets easy papers. Ahhhhh... So word to everyone who thinks that RJC papers are killers and the A is in the bag even though you didn't get an A for prelims, NOW IS TIME TO STUDY!


Ehhhh. I sound stupid. Ahhhh...


Sudden urges to dance. Must be the effect of studying in school because at home I would just prance about the house. In school cannot. Oh well. I suppose it the necessary sacrifice which comes with studying in school. Less chance to get depressed and less chance to fret about the horrifying uni apps. Everyone must remind me not to panic ok!


Haha but spinning across the hall last night (or 12+am this morning) felt great. I still can ping zuan marvelously well. [Ehhhh marvelously sounds damn ego later people think I never in the first place could ping zuan well. Oh well. You get what I mean. I was afraid I lost it already!]



wishing wind to thy wings at 8:18 PM
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Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Wah suddenly my blog is hotly visited. This will be the first night I sleep so early. Since, since, since...





I can't even recall.



wishing wind to thy wings at 12:18 AM
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Monday, October 08, 2007

Today. Was simply horrible. Was. I'm going start studying physics soon and it had better not be horrible. I can't believe I was in a constant state of tears I hate myself I hate myself.
That said. Time to start studying proper. What can I do I will write one essay per night and not stress myself till... Yah.


Ok tomorrow there's physics mock paper 3 and I haven't TOUCHED modern physics. Ok I touched it and gave up when I realised I couldn't concentrate.


What's wrong with me why am I screwing up my life?



wishing wind to thy wings at 9:19 PM
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Sunday, October 07, 2007

I have a new friend! That makes me one happy girl :)


Haha. And recent conversations with someone made me have some new perspectives of that person. Intriguing. (I still doubt this person's trustworthiness haha!)


Ehhh today's SAT II was liddat lorh. Math and Chem were easier than Barron's [Barbara's hehe] while Physics was (I thought) harder.


Didn't manage to complete my insane plan of finishing physics today. Only managed the classical physics which in the first place I already understand better and am more familiar with. Sooo...


Haven't finished my Stanford App.s as well oh well but at least I've submitted UCAS which is one thing off my mind. Note to self: remember to reply corpus christi!


I seem to put a lot of notes to self here just that I don't read my own blog. Oh well.


Okok tomorrow have to do Chem Specimen Paper (the one EVERYONE has completed) and write the long essays for Stanford. And fill in Fine Arts Supplement (this one I must consider whether to send in first).


Ok no stress no stress I must keep telling myself this if not I'd burst into tears :'(


I'm supposed to answer who's my hero. Haha, who should that be?



wishing wind to thy wings at 1:43 AM
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Friday, October 05, 2007

I think... The STUDY group in school is really STUDIOUS. I'm like super stressed out by all of them like practise this paper that paper and I haven't STARTED at all??


And US Apps are killing me.


Please don't crash please don't crash.


It was horrible with Chian Yeh and Seng Kong bombarding me from both sides during Upenn talk today.


Oh well.


I must have faith.



wishing wind to thy wings at 10:38 PM
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Wednesday, October 03, 2007

H3 signals to me that I should study harder for it.


US Unis Apps are stressful.


So is the SAT II I have barely prepared for.


And then I have no time to study for A's which mean ultimate doom.


Errr reminder to self: UCAS is due on 15th Oct.


Another note: Send SAT scores to US schools.


Ehhh. I should start studying but there really isn't time at all at all... Add to complications of me being unable to study at home. Wails...... :'(


Bah! Today was a moody day :(



wishing wind to thy wings at 1:30 AM
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