Saturday, November 17, 2007

There's this horrible feeling of unease I can't get rid of :( And I don't know what to do about it as well. A's are over. Well at least I'm not studying for Phys MCQs. Errr, yet. So I've got basically nothing to do. Because I don't feel like starting Uni Apps yet. Or start looking for a job.

Oh well.

The economist is not catching my interest. Not that it isn't interesting. I just cannot settle down. Where is this unease coming from :'(

A's has been a tremoudous roller coaster ride for me. The emotional upheavals. The despair. I have never felt so stupid before in my entire life you know. There was always this confidence. And finding out that your teacher failed you (yet again) midway through preparing for H3 doesn't help. I think A's made me feel stupid all over again because I don't know. I'm not used to being unable to get things the way I want. Complacency? Maybe. Or just. Over-confidence. I believe that I can do things too much. And I believe I can take on as many things as I want and do well in all of them too much as well.

What happened to the strong girl out there who is ready for the world ahead of her? Hm... I think hiding and waiting. I think still there. I'm going to find her again.

I wish I could have the never dying self confidence I used to have. Ok not that it was never dying.

I miss dance so much. I feel powerful when I'm dancing. So in control, so confident (on the outside at least), so magical :(

I don't know what to think... Oh well...