_behind the scenes_
zhi xu.
30/10/89
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8+1!! | abbY* | alison
whiny aster | belle* | chermaine
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zhunian!
_wishlist_
black clubs! | tie dyed ribbon
new wallet | black hoop
sasaki ball!!
_tagboard_
Friday, September 28, 2007
It just occurred to me. That had my mum deigned to make me a set of keys, and let me bring them out today. I could have gone home myself today (nevermind the worn out skin on my ankle and aching back) and reached home SUPER EARLY. And errrr... Escaped some torture from my classmates.Talk about bullying by classmates. Reminds me of the Quality of School Experience survey. Qnx Are you bullied in school? Haha, everyone goaded me to put yes. But I'm niceeee. I put no. I think I should have put yes... Maybe someone could have done something to save porepore Zhi Xu.
That aside, Prelims results are all back. Nevermind the gross lil' H3 Math which will be only announced next Tuesday. But I shall say I'm rather contented. Though every subject had something for me to improve on, my marks all picked up. Hah! Other than Math which remained stagnant but errrr... It's Math. Which is like careless mistakey. Aiyah I dunnoe. Haven't looked through my paper yet just took and scanned through and claimed the missing two marks :P
Ohhh I think the two people who remember dear Chian Yeh will still have no impression of me AIYAH so sad maybe I could have just ponned Physics Paper 1 which would make a lot of difference. Yesyes? To think I wasn't worried when I came out. Aiyahhh :P Should have been huh?
Heh, anyway, everyone's been working hard and it's been rather stressful but last month okies? Jiayou everyone we can all make this together ;)
And in case anyone is too busy studying to remember, the day you start A's is an important day for me! *hemhem* Errr... You should know what to do lah huh.
Before some random classmate starts to comment on that line above, errrrr. Go busy yourself preparing a birthday present first. [HAHA! This line is meant specially for dear jing xuan. Bu yao zhong se qing you!]
Haven't blogged for ages had some stuff to say but as Zhu Hui just found out today, I have leaky memory. Lol. Like memory leakage (inside joke).
Errrrr... Yahhh I suppose I just explained why I have to stop here... Because I can't remember what else I had to say.
:( My elder sister is going back to UK soon! I think I will miss her :( Oh well... And did I tell you what my dad said about my results? LOL....
Oh this is random. Let's go off for a lil' nap.
Why am I blogging like this huh :S
Haha oh wait. Before I forget. Can dear okeo please tell me who you are? It's rather scary. But Jing Xuan was suggesting it's some kind teacher who's encouraging me (errrr a teacher visiting my site sound scary) or (I shall not say the alternative she suggested here but yahhhahaha). Erps.
Edited [5.30pm]: I was thinking about this just now but wasn't sure whether I'd put it here. But I think I should because I need to talk about it. The whole post has been written in this rather false and cheery tone when actually I feel horrible about this whole prelims thing. So. Bleah.
I think it's rather scary getting back results. And I am lucky, because thus far, most of my papers gave me results I could smile at. Well. I must say that I haven't gotten H3 Math back yet. But still. Yeah, you get what I mean. Even the subject I thought I flunked was actually not flunked. I'm not trying to boast but it surprised me rather a lot.
But then while I've been getting back results I wonder whether I've been a horrible and mean girl to people around me who hasn't done as well as me. I mean like my usual complaints about errr careless mistakes and things are seriously legitimate complaints.
When they come from someone else of course.
Zhu Hui never fails to point out to me that I shouldn't complain. Errr, I'm just whining?
But then there are people around me who didn't do or hasn't done as well so far. And it's probably hurtful that I'm complaining because of, well. I don't know. People's expectations of me? That since I've performed better I shouldn't complain? There are people who can not do well and not complain and know they have to work harder. But there also also people who will take things to heart and though they know they have to work harder as well, it's more painful for them and it sort of rubs it in when someone beside them performs better. And complains it wasn't good enough. Or mistakes were all due to carelessness.
It's like working so hard and making so many sacrifices and knowing you've tried your best. Or knowing that you thought you tried your best. And it turns out such a poor best. Or something which wasn't what you expected. Or something which is easily overshadowed by others.
I know.
Oh wait that probably hurt. Errr, I don't know? But I think I've experienced that before and I sincerely apologise if anything I've said and done these past few days have hurt anyone. I definitely didn't mean anything intentionally and I hope I haven't actually hurt anyone. I don't know.
I realised this whole chunk makes it seem as if I'm really proud and have done really very well. I haven't. Oh wait again. Does that make it seems I'm rubbing things in again?
I feel bad about doing well (I shall leave well up to you to define). :'(
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