wind to thy wings~

Saturday, January 20, 2007

there are many things in life that i want. i just dont go after it because of many considerations i always have in mind. like what people think. what people feel. sometimes i just shouldnt care. or is it because i care too much. you could say i care too much for how people feel. for their own good... or i am just very selfconscious, warying and cowardly.

sometimes i think i try too hard. try too hard and fail to badly. or rather, i try too hard and i cant see the end. im groping and feeling my way around this gooey mess and i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel so im basically fumbling about aimlessly while try very hard at the same time.

or sometimes i just think im not trying hard enough. but im trying very hard. just not with all my mind focused on one thing at a time, which is suppose just means that im not trying hard enough also.

i think ive had my life too smooth. so there are bound to be failures up ahead in front of me. i have already met with many pitfalls last year.

or i think i have.

im floundering in my inflated sense of self importance. let me wallow in my self pity.

i probably havent fallen hard enough.

i have many people around me who cheer me up and make me continue walking. or at least i think i do if not they only do that because i whine and they try to get rid of me.

wait that is an unfair statement but.

it's quite scary don't you think?

reassure me.

haiyah im being a selfish girl...

wishing wind to thy wings at 10:54 PM
c0mments