_behind the scenes_
zhi xu.
30/10/89
likes: purple!
gymnast(:
chinese dancer
_archives_
- July 2006
- August 2006
- September 2006
- October 2006
- November 2006
- December 2006
- January 2007
- February 2007
- March 2007
- April 2007
- May 2007
- June 2007
- July 2007
- August 2007
- September 2007
- October 2007
- November 2007
- December 2007
- January 2008
- February 2008
_frens_
8+1!! | abbY* | alison
whiny aster | belle* | chermaine
chianyeh | class | cheryl y | evelyn
jing xuan | mandre | su(mar)wan | nikki
ramona | pamela maria loo jing ling
rach wong | raisin | suelynn | wenhao
yamz! | yihui(: | yiwei
zhunian!
_wishlist_
black clubs! | tie dyed ribbon
new wallet | black hoop
sasaki ball!!
_tagboard_
Monday, January 22, 2007
somehow i realised that it is often those small little things that make my day. and those small little things that spoil it too. received a msg from zhu hui earlier and it made me smile :) so nice :)haha was discussing with someone about thinking just now. somehow i think i think too much but apparently im not the only one. i think before i respond to most situations and it is this that makes me think "is that me? is that what i would really do? or am i just following what the social norm is? [adam smith and societal expectations]" it often bothers me about how un-real i feel with i react. but it might be real. you know how you think so much of something that you don't know whether it is ingrained in you or you were already like that? but somehow we arrived at this cool conclusion that what you do may actually change your personality. like while i may not be an original extrovert, i could train myself to be one. and i will _be_ one. quite confusing that it makes sense. [this whole idea reminds me of 1984 and doublethink but it's not exactly the same].
i remember the disc i took last time in sln. i was a high cd person. and i remember the facilitator saying that that profile is characteristic of quite some Singapore leaders. which makes sense to me. [cd is conscientiousness and dominant, does that make sense?] and it is often said that all leaders have a certain tendency towards being a high "something". however, i was thinking, should we all try to fall into the grey middle area? should be try to be even in every trait? that might give us the best of all worlds. or it might make us not fully competent in all aspects as well. however, considering that it is calculated based on proportion, you _could_ be good in all and yet still fall into the middle range. you _could_ the reverse. well, somehow although i want to be able to be flexible, to work in all situations and cope with all people, somehow, while i want to be more even, i don't want to fall into the grey area for all of it. somehow if you want to be able to work with others, you would also want something defining you, and not be someone who fades in and out and does well in everything and works well with everyone. that might be good but we are working with society and people need something to base their expectations on your reactions upon. it would be scary to work with someone so perfect that all faults are appreciated wouldnt it? [i should qualify in saying that a perfect person would not appreciate faults but you get my point]
haha, i should be doing SATs now but i just spent some time musing and reflecting. not a waste of time larh. but back to doing SATs, i barely moved cause of the many dance stuff i were referring to. hehe, quite amusing to chat with the same person in 3 windows ;)
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